Sunday, August 18, 2013

JUST THE WEIGHT OF GOD

(An attempt to clarify my own beliefs, tracing the winding thought and spirit path to them)

Revelation or Wishful Thinking?
I have not had one clear, powerful spiritual revelation in which all things became clear to me. There have been moments of intuition and insight shaping my present state of spirituality and belief, such as it is. There are people who have had such experiences, affirming for them another reality: voices heard; visions, out of body occurrences; feelings of being directed; guided, saved or found. I do not doubt that some people have life-changing experiences that are true revelations, and we have the historic examples of true mystics, still influential spiritual teachers from centuries ago: Meister Eckhardt, Hildegard von Bingen and others of all faiths. 

I do wonder, however, if some such experiences may emerge out of other less super-sensible, factors such as subconscious influences; wishful thinking; a desire for comfort, peace and certainty or desperate lives that yearn for change? Could they arise out of a natural inclination of personality or perspective; long-held or even newly found spiritual beliefs and/or practices? Those who do have such experiences then must come down from the proverbial "mountain top" to live by what they now "know," or believe has been revealed. Certainly, reflection would be required and some interpretation (or misinterpretation) of the meaning and message going forward. Some may believe they were given absolute truth, which compels them to evangelize to anyone who will listen.

I have always felt that no one religion is the only "true" one, though many claim to have the absolute truth. Neither do I believe that religion is necessary to be a good, moral human being; however, I cannot imagine being so without having embraced certain values to live by, often contained in religion, but also to be found elsewhere. I believe in freedom of thought, which means not blindly following without question the dictates of any authority. Coming to values and principles on our own often involves a healthy balance of skepticism and openness, curiosity and acceptance, observation, and holding questions instead expecting answers. 

By considering and thinking through what we are taught and what is available to explore in our own life experience, in sacred texts, literature, philosophy, psychology, history, science, and other fields, we orient and re-orient ourselves again and again, as we both discover and create a spiritual path, subject to change, as a map changes with exploration and discoveries.

Perhaps some devout religious people may say my heart is hard, that I am not able to submit to authority, that I cherry-pick only what I can relate to. I have been called a "free thinker," meaning that my hard-won, subject-to-change worls view is all wrong. I took that as a compliment, having been given the gifts of free will, and the capacity to learn "how' to think instead of "what" to think. We are all born into certain circumstances and conditions and may not or may not be exposed to organized religion. But all of us are exposed to a family's or community's social, cultural conditioning and conformity. There we may remain, or we may seek independence to find our own way, as I have done from my own experience, intelligence, insights, intuition, inspiration, and the often unexpected and always welcomed "amazing grace." 

What Kind of God Don't You Believe In?
A friend with a clear understanding and practice of her faith once asked me, "What kind of God don't you believe in?" It made me think of the "version" of God I had grown up with, which, even as a child, I could not embrace. I do not believe in a patriarchal, anthropomorphic God, micro-managing everything, seemingly responding arbitrarily to the prayers of His faithful, and having ignored those of His chosen people who implored Him from concentration camps. I do not believe in a God who created human beings to worship and adore Him, with a pre-ordained "elect" group to be saved, while others were created only to be damned. I realize too, that it may be that this IS the God that exists, but I can not believe believe in that God.

I am drawn more toward the idea of God as Father. If, as experience tells me, an ideal father guides, encourages, supports and comforts his children, is fair, compassionate and unconditionally loves through thick and thin. Fathers guide children to a certain point, then must trust that all that has been given and taught will bear fruit. They also realistically expect that children will make missteps, experiment, may make unwise choices, act impulsively or disobey, as Adam and Eve are said to have done tempted by a serpent (Satan), whom God also had created. I've always questioned too, if God is omnicent/all knowing, certainly he could not have been surprised that his creations disobeyed him. A wise father/parent realizes that, unfortunately at times, their children must learn from adversity, which often increases consciousness and conscience. This is why I believe that this and other biblical stories are imaginative pictures/metaphorical lessons to be contemplated, not taken literally.

Problems and problem-solving develop from encountering unexpected situations, whether we make what seem like good or unwise choices. Learning to cope is part of becoming an adult and more fully human. At times, we find that what we thought was a wise choice turns out poorly, and that an unwise one has led us in a more positive direction. Trying to do the "right thing" or what we have been told to do does not always lead to the desired results, thus the expression learning from "the school of hard knocks." 

In the Judeao/Christian traditions we are told that we were "created in God's image," which may embody many interpretaions and metaphorical implications, e.g., we have the capacity for god-like qualities. I like to think it means we are co-creators who are given whose words "bring things into being," and that we all have gifts we are born with or can develop to create the good, the beautiful and true, as artists, musicians, writers, poets, and others have ever done with the gifts they were born with or developed over time. And throughout time, expressing the infinite, reminding us that our essence and our mission on earth is greater than minds can ever comprehend or even imagine. 

Fundamentalism - Never
Obviously, then I do not believe in literal interpretations of the Bible or any other sacred texts. Although such works contain valuable wisdom to live by, and historic and factual information, there are also origin, canonical inclusion/exclusion, scholarship and linguistic controversies, as well as inevitable elements of prejudices and superstitions of the day that limit our thinking or challenge our rational minds to stretch into fantasy.  

Fundamentalism of any kind narrows and limits knowledge of self and the world. As mentioned above, many people may live admirable moral lives without organized religion or reference to sacred texts, having developed values in other ways, such as that of the school of hard knocks, and other sources revealing sociological, ethic, philosophic and psychological principles. Whether secular, researched, theoretical, data-driven sources, or more imaginative sources, such as literature and mythology with their “significant, if unverifiable truths," both can inform, instruct enlighten, inspire and impart wisdom and/or practical insights to live by. 

Belief and Reason 
My spiritual life has developed from my collective life experiences and influences: the religion I was brought up in, and exploration of the other religions; my formal and informal education; my realtionships and interactions with others, my study and research  based on my interests, my observations, my questions and my doubts, and my own "revelations." Very influential for me have been the psychological, sociological and anthropological perspectives of Joseph Campbell, Carl Jung and Erich Fromm, to name of few. Campbell, in his twelve-year research in three volumes, The Masks of God, posed a question I identified as a key reason I have rejected fundamentalism: "Are modern civilizations to remain spiritually locked from each other in their local notions….and traditions of...myths, stories, and religions, which essentially drive us 'diametrically apart?'" It seems that, yes, they are, as we largely remain focused on our differences, rather our similarities, causing all manner of conflict, often with attempts to limit or take away freedoms by wishing to force others to live by one or another of these traditions--either in families, communities or governments. 

Currently, in America, there are open calls for "Christian Nationalism," including from elected officials, ignoring the First Amendment to the Constitution: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof." Campbell's point exactly! We must remain free to pursue, within the limits of law, the freedoms of "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" as we see fit. We all know how it turns out in countries with theocracies: elimination of choice, censorship, loss of civil rights, especially for women and children. Ironically, the frightening idea of Christian Nationalism is exclusive, not includisive as the Christ: Love your neighbor; Judge not, least you be judged; What is done to the least of our brothers, this you do to me; Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. 

The Brain is Wider than the Sky
"Our task now is to learn that, if we can voyage to the ends of the earth and there find ourselves in the aborigine, who most differs from ourselves, we will have made a fruitful pilgrimage. . . .We [will] have come to the end of a long journey and see that the stranger we meet there is no other than ourselves," which is the same as saying that we find Christ in him [and in ourselves]" (Thomas Merton). This is also what
 the greatest spiritual leaders and advocates for humanity have brought us and taught us through the ages.

I believe the people in our lives, are the ones we came here with and for, and we teach and learn reciprocally from and with them,and beyond to our "neighbors, brothers and sisters (which is everyone else). Though I do not believe in the stereotypical descriptions of heaven and hell, I can imagine that in an "afterlife" we may be made aware of all that we did or did not bring into being in our time on earth, maybe experience our transgressions, large and small as they have affected others and ourselves. My truth tells me we are not here or were created solely to be obedient, to worship a creator, especially out of fear of sin or punishment--hopefully more as results of choice and experience, consicously striving to live virtuosly to pursue and develop our higher selves, respect and embrace the humanity of others and become fully human--through whatever experiences, resources and sources support that effort. 

I believe it is part of spiritual life to be aware of and grateful for all that we have been given, and to treat everyone with abundant compassion and fairness, supporting the freedom to chose how to live, work and love, all of which contribute to the health of ourselves, our communities, our country and our world. 

My spiritual life has been a blending of beliefs--a synthesis--somewhere between reason and imagination, inspiration and intuition, embracing everything that supports the common good. Our spirit, mind, body, heart and soul can not ultimately be understood, defined or contained in any one way to live, any one book or any one philosophy. For me, Martin Buber has said all that one can say with certainty related to belief:

        Real faith means holding ourselves open to the unconditional  mystery which we encounter in every sphere of our life, and which cannot be comprised in any formula. Real faith means the ability to endure life in the face of this mystery. . . . I do not accept any absolute formulas for living. No preconceived code can see ahead to everything that can happen in a man's life. As we live, we grow and our beliefs change. They must change. So I think we should live with this constant discovery. We should be open to this adventure in heightened awareness of living. We should stake our whole existence on our willingness to explore and experience. 

Every day I experience ambiguity, paradox, and moral dilemmas. I behold the beauty of nature and the cosmos. I am grateful for the goodness, kindness and love of my family, friends and sometimes of "strangers." I am painfully aware of the tragedies and suffering occurring at every moment, near and far. And I contemplate with sorrow what I has been lost to me, as well as the joy of what may still lie ahead to receive.  

It is through my writing that I am able to sort out and clarify what I have experienced, what I think, feel and wish to do and be. There are such complex, diverse, subtle, nuanced and mysterious elements in life that inform our moral/spiritual lives. We must affirm, as philosophers and theologians have throughout the ages, that the source is One; the emanations are many, which is to say, infinite--"just the weight of God."

The Brain—is wider than the Sky—
For—put them side by side—
The one the other will contain
With ease—and You—beside—

The Brain is deeper than the sea—
For—hold them—Blue to Blue—
The one the other will absorb—
As Sponges—Buckets—do—

The Brain is just the weight of God—
For—Heft them—Pound for Pound—
And they will differ—if they do—
As Syllable from Sound 
                                                                ~  Emily Dickinson

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