MOSS ON STONE - An Excerpt

from a historical novella based on the diary of 

Susannah Norwood Torrey (1826 ~ 1908)

Prologue

To have a dream is to remain hopeful—a vision of some future time when all will be well and worry ceases. I have found that when dreams fade, there are other ways, if not to cherish thoughts of the future, or to reflect upon regrets of the past, then to sustain us day to day with a small measure of light—mine were things of beauty—moss on stone.

Now, from this distance of space and time, indeed, the absence of those illusions that do not exist here, I linger, preparing to return to life anew. What did I leave behind? A portrait for others to look upon, a scrapbook of moss designs, a diary, and a stone cottage by the sea. I review my life as one would a colorful tableau, and find that mine was a life worth living. I will tell you something of that life—of dreams,, and dreams fading; of time passing; of dear family and friends, loved and lost; and of people and places changed. 

    Through it all, there were the immutable gifts of nature to renew my soul with unequaled joy, asking nothing in return.

Between the thicket and the wood, lay the sought for valley covered with rocks piled one about another….and these rocks were covered with the most beautiful mosses that I ever saw. 

(Oct. 17, 1849)

www.mossonstoneauthor.blogspot.com

VULNERABILITY

Vulnerability is not a weakness, a passing indisposition, or something we can arrange to do without, vulnerability is not a choice. Vulnerability is the underlying, ever present and abiding undercurrent of our natural state…. To run from vulnerability is to run from the essence of our nature; the attempt to be invulnerable is the vain attempt to become something we are not. (David Whyte, Poet/Philosopher)

I agree with these thoughts by poet, David Whyte, but must must remind myself often that vulnerability is part of being fully human. Like other bits of widsom, it is not easy to live, as we are vulnerable in so many ways. While it may be a natural part of being human, so is our tendency to protect ourselves from physically, as well as emotionally. And while we can reasonably do so--attending to our health and well being in many ways, we also may try to remain invulnerable in other ways that prevent us from taking risks or engaging in life that would connect us to others by opening ourselves up to possibilities despite the perceived risks. 

We are vulnerable in relationships of love, friendship and community and to ourselves when we hold ourselves accountable for our highest ideals. We may avoid, sharing our thoughts and feelings, as well as our abilities and creations for fear of pain, rejection and loss. In doing so we also close ourselves off from the possibility of deepening our capacity for compassion,empathy and joy, as well as being accepted and acknolwedged by others who would value us and deem of worthy,

David Whyte suggests that vulnerability is our natural state, because no one of us is in control. We all must face the “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.” So, it would seem we must change our tendency to remain invulnerable and choose to fulfill our potential to become fully human and live in full scope of our being, as we are the only part of creation able to choose to BECOME.

Does the biblical reference to being in the image of God imply that ww are also creators with capacity to contribute to and participate consciously in Creation--even by working on ourselves to become what we envison. I believe so.

The rest of creation becomes what it is meant to be without choice or consciousness: a seed becomes a flower; a larvae becomes a butterfly. All other entities on earth fulfill their nature by necessity. Humans have the capacity and opportunities to choose in small and large ways throughout a lifetime: to be different, to be better, to be more than we are, to be more balanced toward wholeness, to be more true to what we imagine is our higher self.

We are capable, first through our uniqueness and individuality to bring the new into life: thoughts, deeds and physical manifestations of our creations. We also have the capacity to shape our "selves" through reflecting on and evolving with life's challenges, sorrows, joys which awaken our consciousness and conscience to transcend and transform. 

All of the above involves willingness to be vulnerable and rebound when we are blindsided to face situations with courage and hope when we are faced with life on its own terms.  

Can you, will you, must you begin to trust that everything is as it is and will be and allow yourself to, "go to the limits of your longing?"  

God speaks to each of us as he makes us,

then walks with us silently out of the night.

These are the words we dimly hear:

You, sent out beyond your recall,

go to the limits of your longing.

Embody me.

Flare up like a flame

and make big shadows I can move in.

Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.

Just keep going. No feeling is final.

Don’t let yourself lose me.

Nearby is the country they call life.

You will know it by its seriousness.

Give me your hand. ~ Rilke, Book of Hours, I 59